If I could sit down with my younger self—or with anyone just now waking up to their health at 42—I’d say this first:

It’s all about calories. I wish I understood that earlier in life. Not in a restrictive way, but just knowing how powerful that one metric is. Once you realize your body runs on input and output, everything changes. It’s not magic—it’s math. But you’ve got to live a little before that sinks in sometimes.

Back then, I got distracted by the wrong things. I chased every “burn fat fast” workout out there, thinking that would do it. I’d break a sweat, feel sore, and still see no change—because I wasn’t checking what I was putting in my mouth. I didn’t know that no matter how hard I trained, I couldn’t outrun 4,000 calories a day. That hit me hard the day I found out my favorite biscuit was 580 calories… and I used to eat two before 10am. That realization flipped the switch. I wasn’t “average”—I was eating recklessly.

And when I finally calculated the TDEE for my goal weight? Man… the fat started falling off instantly. I had been eating like a king with no kingdom. That awareness alone gave me momentum.

If you’re thinking it’s too late, stop. That’s a lie. You’re overthinking it or listening to the wrong voices. All you need to do is pick a goal weight and build your eating plan around the calories that version of you would eat. That’s it. Start there and adjust as you grow.

The first real win wasn’t even the scale—it was seeing the system work. The numbers made sense, and my body followed. I used to think this journey had to be full of pain and restriction, but I learned the opposite: you can do this your way. In fact, it works better that way. If you find the foods, movements, and rhythm you enjoy, you’ll never feel like you’re grinding. You’re just living.

One of the biggest surprises for me was how powerful daily activity became. I used to think walking wasn’t enough. Now if I don’t hit my steps, I feel off. It’s medicine. Unless I truly need recovery, I’m moving. That’s just who I am now.

And that’s the deeper lesson. Once you reach the goal, it’s not about maintaining it—it’s about being it. I don’t “try to stay fit.” I am fitness. I am lean. This isn’t a season—it’s me. If you’re from my era, if you’re over 40 and wondering what the next chapter looks like: let me say it clearly. This is the new dad body. This is the new strong. It’s possible, it’s sustainable, and it’s yours if you want it.

To the person starting over every Monday—look, Mondays aren’t the issue. The weekends are. Flip the script. Face the weekends first. Build your calorie system around the hard days, not the easy ones. Once you conquer that, you’ve already climbed your biggest hill.

And for the ones stuck in research mode? Reading, scrolling, overthinking?

If you keep waiting on tomorrow, tomorrow will keep waiting on you.



This journey gave me more than abs. It gave me rhythm. Awareness. Peace. And if I had to wrap it all into one principle I live by now?

Lean and mindful.

That’s not just the body. That’s the life.